How Does Romance Work in D&D (and games like it)?

Your D&D character can find both treasure and romance in their adventures!

Many people love romance plotlines; they show up in a ton of books, movies, and TV shows. Video games can make these plots even more immersive; players can create their own character who meets and falls in love with another character from the same world. This can (and does!) happen in tabletop games like Dungeons & Dragons, too. But unlike in a roleplaying video game, D&D and other tabletop roleplaying games (TTRPGs) aren’t programmed and written ahead of time. You’re playing with real people (sometimes people you already know) who are portraying these characters. So how does romance work in a game like that? How do you tell the kinds of stories you want without making anyone feel weird (or feeling weird yourself)? We know a thing or two about making games that are fun for everyone, so we’re here to tell you!

Types of In-Game Romances

Within tabletop roleplaying games (TTRPGs), there are a few different types of romances depending on what kinds of characters are in the relationship. A little bit of gaming jargon will come in handy here, so we’ve put together this graphic to help you out. 

Romances in D&D games can happen between all different types of characters!

Different kinds of relationships come from mixing and matching different types of characters. An NPC/NPC romance consists of two characters your Game Master made who end up in a romantic relationship. This is a bit like a novel, where you watch a fictional relationship develop from the outside. A PC/NPC romance is when your (or someone else’s) character develops a romantic relationship with a character the Game Master made. This is a little more like a video-game romance, where the player’s original character falls in love with a character that already exists in the world (but it is a little different, since that character is played by a real person)! A PC/PC romance is when your character develops a romantic relationship with another person’s character. This resembles an online RP; both you and the player playing the other character get to choose what your characters do and make the story up along the way.

Romance for TTRPG Players

What kind of D&D romance would be fun for you?

If you’re playing a TTRPG, think about what kinds of plots you enjoy - do you actually like romance stories in the first place? (“No” is a perfectly fine answer!) If you do, what parts of romance do you like? (Maybe you really enjoy playing out cute date scenes.) What parts don’t you like? (Maybe jealousy plotlines make you uncomfortable.) Remember that you’re playing in a group; the stories are imagined, but the people are real. (Maybe you don’t like the idea of pretending your character is in love with a character that one of your friends made. Maybe you think it’d be fun for your character to date an NPC, but only if you get to tell your Game Master what the NPC is like ahead of time.) If romance comes up in the game, you can say what you’re comfortable with, just like other aspects, like monsters or combat.

Before starting a game, think about the ways your particular character acts and feels. Do they like romance? If so, what gender(s) would they like to be in a romantic relationship with? How do they show love? How easy or difficult would it be for them to fall in love? If you determine these things ahead of time, you will have a better time roleplaying your character - and be able to make the kinds of stories that you enjoy.

Romance for Game Masters

As romance comes up in the game, no matter what kind, be sure to check in with everyone to be sure they’re having a good time. Implementing safety tools is a good venue for people to express their comfort levels. (Maybe they love the idea of their characters holding hands, but they don’t want to describe them kissing.)

Also think about what you’re comfortable playing in a game and communicate that to your players. Remember, Game Masters are players, too, and you should never feel uncomfortable or have a bad time in your games just because you’re the one behind the screen. If you aren’t comfortable with romance, consider other kinds of relationships you might like to see played out? (Maybe Long-lost siblings? Mentors? Professional rivals?)

If a character loves do-gooders and all things celestial, they might fall in love with an NPC who’s an Aasimar Paladin

If you are comfortable with romance, you have the great opportunity to tell romance stories together with your players! When asking your players their preferences in regards to playing out romances, also ask what kinds of people their characters might be drawn to. (Do their characters like someone who is bubbly and happy or awkward and aloof? Someone who’s covered in battle scars or has gentle hands from years spent in a library? Someone who is tall and burly or small and lithe?) Keep an eye out for potential NPCs - barkeeps, guards, sages, nobles, and more - who might have these aspects, and describe them in detail as your players encounter them. 

If your players do pursue romances with your NPCs, think about how those relationships could play into your adventures. (Maybe having a girlfriend obsessed with daring deeds make a shy warlock more likely to try to impress her? Maybe capturing a significant other be a way for a vampire lord to lure the party into their castle? Maybe a druid boyfriend who wants to befriend animals set your party on a quest to stop a group of nasty poachers?) 

Romance Ideas for A D&D World

If you get a necklace from your significant other in the real world, it probably doesn’t have magic powers.

If you find yourself playing a character in a fantasy world, you’re not bound by the limits of our world - your character lives in a land of magic and adventure, and their relationships do too! While a real-world date might take place at a theme park or movie theater, a fantasy-world date could take place on the back of a dragon or in an alternate plane of reality! Instead of walking down the block to get some bubble tea, your characters might wander into a tavern, break up a brawl, and share some Kraken Ale. Instead of giving one another a plushie or the latest Switch game, your characters could exchange pendants of protection forged in ancient mines or a magical lute that can control the weather. Instead of getting matching PFPs or heart lockets, your characters might get matching magical tattoos or forge a telepathic bond. 

There are so many fun in-game stories and relationships that you can make in Dungeons & Dragons and TTRPGs like it. If you have ideas for your own character, romance, or story, we would love to have you play with us! We run online games for tweens and teens with professional Dungeon Masters who can bring your ideas to life, come up with cool characters for your adventures, and make sure you’re in a space that’s safe and fun, never gross or weird. Take a chance to play out your characters story with us, whether it be an epic romance, a sweeping adventure, or a daring heist!